Tips you will listen better

Active listening involves eye contact and paraphrasing. You should try to take the other person's perspective. Poor listeners take in what is being said passively - if at all. If you want to listen well, you should always give your counterpart feedback and reflect on what you have heard in your own words. 

To help you understand, here's a comparison. Suppose your friend tells you that she is very stressed because of all the work and extra trouble at home. If you listened poorly, they would reply something like, "Oh, it'll pass! I have a lot on my plate too, but eventually, it will get better." Good listening is about showing understanding and empathy. You'd be more likely to respond something like, "I'm sorry you're going through a stressful period right now. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed. How are you doing with that exactly?" The focus is clearly on the other person. You don't assume how your counterpart feels, you ask - you change the perspective.

Good advice is one of those things. Many people don't understand when they are really being asked for advice and when their counterpart actually just wants to be confirmed. Be thoughtful in giving advice and really only give advice when you are asked for it. The difference between you and your counterpart is quite simple: your counterpart knows the whole story - you do not. You never have the same knowledge about a situation, about feelings or actions, as your counterpart. 

How can you make an informed decision and give good advice? We all often fall into the trap of giving advice, thinking we are helping the other person by doing so. However, it is better to help our counterpart make the decision that is right for him or her. Recognize whether you are being asked for advice or your counterpart wants reassurance.

Similar to giving advice, caution applies to our inner evaluation processes. Especially for judgmental people, this can be very difficult. When listening, our communication should be primarily non-judgmental. Listen. Be there for your counterpart. You never know the whole story, don't know why people feel the way they do in certain situations. Try to be accepting of this. Be empathetic, and try to put yourself in the other person's position.